Why I Make Games
I have flipped back and forth between life decisions.. First off, I declared that I was “maturing” away from games and so I joined a startup… Only to quit less than half a year later and then flip back to making games.
Why didn’t I want to make games? A year ago, I accepted that I was not a good game designer. I didn’t play video-games anymore so I didn’t know what made video-games good. I tried to make a Super Smash Bros clone, but I didn’t know what made Super Smash Bros fun, because I don’t play Super Smash Bros. The games that I played as a kid were sandbox games, and sandbox games weren’t fun to develop for me. I’ve tried, many many times.
Why did I start making a game now? Back in November, I was super sad. I just got back from a fun trip throughout Montreal, Toronto, and New York. I loved it, but going back home where there wasn’t constant stimulation sucked. I felt like I was without purpose. October then came around and I was reminded of one of my reoccurring daydreams: to create a horror game for Halloween. This was around October 25, with a few more days left until Halloween – so I said, okay let’s just make it a small tiny game and do a 5-day game jam. You can see by the December 23 release date how that “game jam” went.
A huge difference between my previous unfinished projects and this one is the community that I found in San Francisco. I found a group of people here who were interested in art and technology, and found value in what I was creating. This support gave me so much drive and motivation to keep going. Equally, their work is super inspiring. Their aesthetics, old-fashioned HTML pages, browser-based performance pieces, communication from body pose detection, and live-coding. All of it is so dope. From this community, I also found the person who would be doing the soundtrack for the game.
Another thing that was different: I watched “Tick Tick… Boom!”, an autobiographical musical based on the writer of “Rent.” There was a line that stuck out to me in the movie –which I now learn is very very popular advice to writers– “Write what you know.” I took that mentality and I carried it with me throughout the game.
“Write what you know” was the biggest answer to my previous problem, “I am not good at game design.” I love escape rooms. I always wanted to make my own escape room. But escape rooms are lots of money to develop. Oh my god. I can make my own escape room, just virtually. I also have taste in escape rooms, unlike other games – I know what escape rooms are good, what puzzles are good, and the aspects that I personally enjoy when playing an escape room. This is what I know.
The story written for the game is also “what I know.” I didn’t want to try too hard, do research, and come up with something super brand new. There’s a youtube video called “Everything’s a Remix” and I fully embraced the mentality in it. My favorite director is Quentin Tarantino, who is a remix artist. I keep telling people that the game is just an aggregation of existing ideas and inspirations, but perhaps it has breeched the threshold to be “original,” though that is up to the audience to decide. The story is a remix of my own life growing up in Silicon Valley in a predominantly asian immigrant town. It is a remix of the experience in growing up chronically online at the cusp of the dial-up era.
In writing and doing everything that I already knew – this game was incredibly super easy to make. I mean easy as in, I wake up and I want to work on the game easy. It was totally hard in many other ways, but many of it just came naturally to me because it was things I already did. I sometimes feel like I’ve stumbled upon this game, instead of coming up with it. It seems so obvious that this game was going to happen, based on all the skills I’ve accumulated in life, and my interests, but it really wasn’t obvious when I was searching for a game to make. I am super thankful, though, to have stumbled upon this game.
So, why do I make games? A long time ago a friend showed me a horror escape room game, and though I was initially against the idea of playing, it left a lasting impact on me. The idea of solving puzzles together, sharing an experience together, it was a very magical experience. I wanted to create more experiences like this for others. Games have a power to bring people together, whether it’s playing in escape rooms, or playing Overwatch community tournaments with friends. The idea of play has existed for centuries. Play is the reason for existing, because without it, what are we all doing this for? Why bring on more life into this universe if it’s not fun to be here? Why keep going if not for the music, the good food, moving concerts, beautiful artwork, and fun games? A video-game is the most beautiful combination of all forms of media combined into one. Video-games saved my life, and I want it to save so many other people’s lives. This is why I make games.
Last Seen Online has finally been released. It is a successful game, based on my own measurement. I sought out to finally finish a game in my lifetime, and get 20 people to play it. It is now far from my goal, and I am thankful for everyone who resonated with it and shared it. Here’s a comment on the game that really touched me, and gives me more motivation to keep making games.
